I can't sleep. So I figure what better time to wipe the cyber-dust off this thing than, oh, now. Maybe rambling in here will help.

I have a pretty good idea as to why I can't sleep. And it's completely out of my control. And, man, do I really hate it. The lack of control, specifically. (I hate the lack of sleep too, but ehhh, it's just one night so far and I'm still young; I can deal)

I've been trying to get into a routine of getting up early to go and get a good work-out in before I got to work, and that's been semi-successful. If a couple of nights like tonight go by, then I guess I throw that out the window. The good thing about being done with college is I seem to have A LOT more free time on my hands and it is definitely nice. It's so awesome. But that means I can make my work-out up after work. I guess that makes that a non-issue now. Heh.

Well, lets see now if airing any of this out helps me sleep. If not, well...

I may return.

Wish me luck.

So it's now 3:00 pm on a Thursday afternoon. A week ago at roughly this time I planned on being in Virginia, almost to Heather's house.

My how things have changed.

Monday, my granddad went to the emergency room thinking he was having a heart attack. And he was. They performed a variety of tests and concluded he'd had a mild heartattack and they were going to run a dye test/angiogram on tuesday to see how bad the damage was and if there was blockage in his arteries. 2 of his arteries coming out of his heart were 99% block anda third was 80%. Since it was more than 2 blockages, they couln't put in a stint. They had to perform a triple by-pass.

That meant open heart surgery.

We were all surprised, because my grandfather has been the one person in the family that is the most fit. He's slim, active, and can work circles around anyone else in the family. I commented at a family gathering earlier this year, that it was funny that out of all of us people out there swimming and lounging around my aunt's pool, he was the only person anyone can consider to be 'ripped.' The man will be 72 in 2 weeks. Let me also add here, that one of hte nurses out of the team that helped perform the surgery stated that she wouldn't not have believed that man was as old as his chart stated. And shes' right. He doesn't look his age at all. He looks like in his his early 50's.

The doctors decided Tuesday to perform the by-pass on Wednesday. So everyone went up there to see him and visit. The prognosis was good. They said he was in great shape and expected him to do well. I did not go, because I had a lot of things to do that night.

At 2:30 that monrning, my grandmother called and said that he had 'crashed' during the night, they had to use the "paddles" as she called them, on him to bring his heartrate back up. After he stabilized, they decided to rush him into surgery.

So yesterday, Wednesday, I was at the hospital from 3 till 8, then I went to work so dad could stay at the hospital because there's only 3 of us there. Then I went home to eat and back to the hospital to see him for the first time after surgery.

He's in ICU so we only have an hour with him at a time and only for about 4 times each day. And only so many people can go in the room. Since I had seen him, they let me be one of the first ones in the room.

And when I saw him I nearly collapsed. I'd never ever think to see that man as fragile and weak as I saw him. I nearly broke down right there, and would've if I had not have had a piece of gum to really clinch down on and fight it off. It just nearly killed me.

So I have been there for the last few days and got a huge reality check. My grandfather and I are very close. So to see him like that hurt me in a way I didn't know I could be hurt. The good news is, he's recovering ahead of schedule. The doctors keep saying how great he's doing. He's talking today, and just really putting away some liquids, and keeping 'em down, which is fantastic. He's even getting fiesty and antsy sitting in the bed, and getting tired of people doting on him, which is so typically him. He's talking and he can remember everything everyone tells him. He even remembers getting shocked by the doctors when they almost lost him. And he says it hurt so bad. Like a knife being driven into his chest over and over. But it's amazing to me that he remembered it. He's smiling at people and talking. It could've been so bad because he wait so long to get to the hospital. But it seems like it's gonna be ok.

I had to put off my move to Virginia for it for a couple of days, but for my grandfather, that's a sacrifice I'll make.

Well, only about 2 weeks left of these classes. 2 more weeks and
I'll have a Bachelor's in General Business. Heh. I dunno how much that thing will be worth in the real world as far as helping me get a job, but I will have a 4 year degree. It only took me 5 years and a
summer, but I got the damn thing.

Now the only issue I have is surviving these next 2 weeks. I've got 2 research paper to do that I haven't even started on, and I'm tryin to completely knock out my 2 internet classes. I think I'll be able to get that done either today or tomorrow. Then I can just focus on my 2 night classes. And then I WILL BE FINISHED. And I can relax and bum around for...oh about a week.

Because a week after I get finished with classes, I start the big
move. From Texas to Virginia. Heather, you have no idea what you're
getting into. You're gonna let a Texan live in the house with you?
Heh heh. Espeically THIS Texan. You're brave. Very brave. I feel
even more sorry for you mom. She's not gonna know WHAT to think....

But I'm gettin excited about it all, can't ya tell? Well, excited and nervous and scared and excited again all at once. It's crazy. Heh heh heh. But the stress level is gonna rise over the next 3 weeks. I'll be finishing up classes, then have to get started packing everything,then load up and make the cross country drive.

A Texan in Virginia. What is goin on with THAT?!


P.S. TK and I have a new LJ community that's just basically about stuff that's goin on with us, things we have to do and all that jazz. Check it out if you like. But remember: VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK. You know if it's from us, it's gonna be cracktacular!

Here it is: knocksquared

So this past weekend one of my old friends from my childhood came back into town for a visit. He's in the army and is stationed in Missouri. He got a 4 day pass and they let him come down here to see everyone. He hasn't been back here in 10 years.

It's funny how we were both goofy 12 year olds when he left, and now that we're around each other again we're just goofy 22 year olds. Heh. He was like the brother I never had, and it's like there's no 10 year gap there at all. We both act exactly the same around each other. I figured there'd be a whole readjustment and gettin to know each other and a loss of things in common over that space of time. But it's not. He's the same Danny (Easy on the Jacen/Danni OTP jokes PLEASE. You know who you are.) And that's really cool. We're still having fun and stuff just like we did all those years ago. It's great.

It's also sad in a way. He's only in Missouri for a short while undergoing some training in Military Police Investigation, then he's being transferred back out to El Paso and Ft. Bliss. With me moving to Virginia in August, I know this will probably be the last time I get to see him for....a long time.

But I'm glad I got to hangout with him some again and the opportunity to..reconnect. And seeing that not a lot's changed during those 10 major formative years of our life between us, it makes me think that we can always see each other at some other point and be the same as we always were.

The last class period was a bitch, but it's done

Over with

Ka-put.

DONE!

And my group royally fucked me over in my presentation by going 15 MINUTES over the 25 MINUTE time limit. But I talk to the teacher and she said it's not a big deal. She's not gonna kill anyone. So that makes me feel better.

Now, I can breathe for a week.

In less than 2 hours I will begin the last session of the worst class of my entire life.

What class is this you may ask? Why, it's lil' 'ole Organization Behavior.

Why is it so bad? Because the teacher personally took lessons in making-student's-lives-hell from Satan himself.

Thank the Almighty for letting me make it this far. Give me strength for a bit longer.

After class: NO MORE STRESS! Will be planning next trip to Disney. Yay!

EVERYONE!!


Go here for great Jacen Solo in Betrayal discussion!!

http://z4.invisionfree.com/mindbreak/index.php?showtopic=985&st=60

So, now that 'friends' have been properly chasitised, and anger almost properly vented, I feel like I can really explain a few things. Just as a final air-out.

This morning at about 5 I recieved a phone call rousing me from a nice, deep sleep. It's one of my 'friends' on and he's voice is dripping with panic. Him and several of my other 'friends' had gone out the night before and partaken in some...questionable...activities.

He begins blabbering on about something, but the first words that really register in my sleep-fogged brain were "blood", "puking", and "O.D.." After that I was pretty much awake and the tale was that my friend was in dire need of medical help and, not wanting to go to parents or 911, they came to me cause, well, I'm clearly a responsible person. Or something. And I, not quite knowing exactly what day it was, and being just woken up proceeded to get up and get dressed and talk to this 'friend'to find out the exact situation until I hear laughing in the background, which in turns leads to this 'friend' laughing.

Then I realize just exactly what day it is.

However, vindication is sweet.

Apparently, I think some people have a LOT to learn about April Fool's jokes...